11th April 2026
I had already written a passage here but i read a post from a lady called Beccy , Wild -Ways-Women on Instagram. I have met Beccy quite a few times and not only a lovely person is aspirational with her life transformation and chosen path. I have had what she wrote on my mind for quite a while and i thought her words captured what i felt. So , decided to share it :
I am not consistent , i am not ordered
I am living from my heart , through my heart , i am choosing to step out of the old ways.
I cannot fit myself into societies expectations of constant output and productivity. I’ve tried to become the version of myself that instagram says i need to be in order to be seen , but it is overwhelming my nervous system , it asks me to abandon myself.
So i am choosing something different
I am choosing a way of living that my body can actually hold , a rhythm that feels safe , sustainable , and real. I am choosing to trust that there is value in moving slowly , in moving intuitively , in moving honestly.
I am no longer measuring my worth by how much i produce or how well i perform.
I am releasing the idea that i have to keep up , fit in , or prove anything.
There is nothing wrong with me for needing a different pace
I am allowed to exist, create and live in a way that knows my nervous system , my energy , and my truth and i refuse to feel inadequate for choosing a path that is softer , quieter and more alingned with who i actually am.
Ospreys of Kielder Forest
A beautiful link to an Osprey webcam
Bull Crag Peninsular
It is becoming that time when my focus moves away from the interior of the Forest as spring becomes so magnificent and i am wishing to share the vibrancy and energy of this time of year. However , now i have made friends to some wonderful trees hidden from the path i will over time going to have a social visit to see how they are getting on. Not everything needs to be energetic and vibrant , even in spring, and these deliberately slow moving and present old friends calm the nervous system grounding you in their quiet compassion.
Moving through nature feels very much as following a musical score and in early spring the new growth are like intermittent grace notes which you have to be present in catching as the dark melodic chords of the end of winter are still dominant, the deep tones of a tuba are subtly replaced by moments of a clarinet reflecting the hidden energy ready to burst out in song.
The Gorse bushes look like withered bent old men that have seen hundreds of year of toil and when the bushes are crowned in a cadmium yellow they show themselves as enlightened masters of wisdom.
There is wisdom in deep enquiry of what spring has brought to every last part of the plant, its shapes and form , variance of tones and hues, and juxtapositions of what was before. This enquiry strengthens our mindfulness , deepens our connection and lightens our hearts to playfulness.
The more we practice the more nature reveals itself.
Every time i wander i am in awe of how nature cadence of growth surprises me , a little bush that had no right to be so evolved in spring growth hidden from the light and amongst many still wearing their winter clobber. But there it was , and here it is to compliment the astonishing , mesmerising abilities of the moss.
In the Wild , Painting
Nature
wants you
to be
you.
Top left : Watercolour on Bockingford 56 × 76 cm Watercolour Paper
Top Right : Watercolour on 33 × 50 cm fabrinno Oil Paper
Middle Left : Watercolour on 140 × 210mm Watercolour Sketch Book
Middle Right : Watercolour on 170 × 250mm Leda Supplies Sketch Book
Botton : Watercolour on A3 Canson Paper
Bakethin Nature Reserve
I am to return next week along with Bull Crag as the beginning of April was very much behind Hareshaw Linn in new spring growth. There were beginnings of spring but much more hidden from plain view like beautiful green coppice shoots , i love that sap green colour and the straight lines trying not to cross each other.
When you get into a rhythm things start to appear like magic. The magic is within you , you need to be present and you need to give space from your mind and let your heart do the looking. The brambles are always a good place to find new growth , they were the first to have a look around and whats magical about them is the array of colours , and when you look closely how subtle it is in tones and hues giving it so much depth.
Those wonderful green shots of energy protruding from twig that look hardly able to hold its weight. To me , even though the green gives an illusion of lightness the bud has a feeling of intentional density , a weight which feels tangible that has strength and power of change.
When you do not pay attention of nature everything appears linear but it is not like that , there are berries which still remain , uneaten and defiant in dropping off , coexist with new green shoots becoming flowers forming new berries. I am looking forward to this moment when the old berries have let go , shown the new how to be and gone to seed within the deep compost of the forest.
But , still its time to find more trees to make friends with
Hareshaw Linn
At this moment the woodland is a bit like cultural difference of “east meets west” , but instead “winter meets spring” . The hours wandering through un-explored parts of the woodland finding wonderful markings on tree trunks and now they are complimented with a sparkle of vibrant green. They are like little torch lights of gorgeousness sprinkling beside the sturdy and wise.
The last time the woodland floor was naked and it felt vulnerable but now it is quickly becoming lush with ground plants. The reddy soaked ferns , multi coloured fallen leaves and mottled darkened soils for the bases of trees are now lush green vibrant hubbub competing for its own reverence.
