An Autumn Moment.
It is quite normal for me to feel retrospective in Autumn and to focus on whats wrong then try and fix it as the good things become ephemeral and difficult to keep hold off. These are automatic impulses remaining in my subconscious.
I love my life and celebrate I have found something authentic in me.
There is nothing left to let go off I just need to have faith that when it is time that my needs are met.
I think moving past any attachment is a leap of faith.
My art is a process of life not a capitalism dream construct. There is nothing different from someone who makes art for a living or who does not : they are only labels created by a narrow minded society. The success of making art is doing the art which is true to yourself as possible, the process is often like for myself, seeking for my truth: Consciousness thanks you for your uniqueness and values your creation regardless of society status.
The older I get the more I think there isn’t really an answer which anyone can tell you as there are infinite variations to how life unfolds and there is nothing wrong with many of them. You have to feel your way through.
I do honour my conscious shift of awareness when I am seeking something wrong with my life and that I can bring kindness whilst the self compassion realises these are just thoughts. It just feels like there is something missing when I do and that is the familiarity of believing things will go wrong.
The week was my Mum’s birthday and 5th anniversary of her passing and quite coincidently Stella ( the cat) 10th birthday on the same day. On my mindfulness course a colleague said to me that a person doesn’t really leave you when they die but your relationship changes. I do feel my Mum is around especially when I am painting and I definitely can tell Stella is around as she is constantly asking me to play outside when it’s a sunny day. It is good to feel joy even when remembering people who have passed away; It was Khalid Gibran that stated Joy and Sorrow belong to each other. My Mum was a joyful person , full of fun and humour. She was also a talented artist who worked with textiles which I am blessed to have her work reminding me of her on my walls each day.
I had a few changes in my painting as I wasn’t feeling the “songs of my soul” work, so , I have decided to leave them until the new year and build up some more abstracted pencil drawings. I had the week before on a Sunday morning walk at Bakethin Nature Reserve identified some places where I can go and begin to practice my Gestural Nature.
I also decided to create a hang out space in my studio so I may just sit and contemplate what I had painted and meditate to clear mental space.
Hareshaw Linn
I watched a podcast with the recently departed and much missed Manchan Magan where he was talking about Ireland having the most sacred wells remaining in the world. Not though Ireland is more special but due to being isolated and the church leaving them alone.
Water is sacred for every living thing. I am not a scientist but I have watched documentaries stating water can contain emotion as a frequency which you can see the molecular change in a microscope. I believe this is the water spirits listening to our reverence to them and blessing us with life which our ancients knew about.
When I became more interested in spiritualness of the land I came across rituals of receiving a blessing from water which is a beautiful thing. However, I want to bless the water , I want to send goodness back into the water so that it can go onto its journey into the sea and then purify my blessing to everyone manifesting kindness. I want to send a message to the water spirits that people do care and do not give up on us.
I do not want my Diary to be political but I find difficulty understanding someone who pollutes our waterways to maximise profit and doesn’t think that all that reside on this earth should not be blessed with clean life giving water and that it belongs to all.
My healing blessing to the water
( place hand into a flowing river , stream or brook )
May you feel my blessing of life
May you flow freely
May I bless you a safe journey
May you whisper
May you rage
May you nourish the earth
May you quench natures thirst
May you unite with the sea
May I find you in the sky
May my blessings rain
May you purify the world
May the water spirits re-emerge
May humanity be your protector once more
Once you seen one then the whole place bursts out in mushrooms popping up everywhere you can possible imagine and as I thought i have seen all the types another one surprises me snook in a corner. The mushrooms appearance coincides with opening up of the veil of dimensions, where the Fae and other entities reveal themselves. I feel we are all multi dimensional and it’s a matter of being able to connect which means letting go of things covering our senses.
The under world of soil , the source of magic of our land is a hidden dimension to most as we dismiss soil as nothing and that’s why we poison it with chemicals. It is this time of year when the fruiting bodies of mycelium pop up their antenna to see the world above that we should honour the under world.
Maybe your honouring could be simply composting to enrich the microbes in your garden.
Being present with our wanderings through nature opens up an intense awareness to our surroundings but beware of losing presence trying to be present. Take time , take moments of breath and slowly release your awareness to observing every sense with lightness , you will eventually feel the difference as it is like someone has cranked up the music and every living things wants you to notice it.
When this happens you will see that Autumn is never about everything turning back to compost and that there is nothing to see of value. There is everything to experience , new growth in tiny ecological pockets that doesn’t know yet summer is over., red berries deepening in colour and as the leaves depart give greater guidance for the creature to see there is still more left. , lichens displaying nuanced colours , mushrooms popping up everywhere , explosion of mottled and transitioning colours on leaves then carpeting the forest floor in the style of Jackson Pollock.
It is time to experience autumn in nature yourself , time to return to a favourite spot or find somewhere for the first time. It is said that the more familiar we are with our natural place it becomes easier to connect to it , our mindfulness not only deepens but becomes more lasting when we are sat in a place known to us.
Sit on a forest floor and look through the tree branches , twigs and autumn leaves at the dappled light soaking in the energy it gives. See the shapes , have fun with your imagination and make up stories of dragons or entities you can find in the trees. Witness the breeze releasing leafs and floating to the ground in swirling shapes. This is a meditation of life and all that you infuse within your spirit remains to lighten and softening harsh moment.
Bull Crag Peninsular
I had two ideas of learning project in 2026 to whether I would learn Welsh or Gaelic or to learn the names of plants . When I wander through woodlands and moorlands it feels English is an alien language to the trees and plants. But the older languages are not that old in context to this land. and there were more before them. I really wanted to understand the trees and the land. I am also conflicted with learning the names of plants , does a wild rose know it’s a wild rose ? I love just sitting in nature without the need for labels and co exist in our stillness. But, when I read Robin Wall Kimmerer books the names of plants are so deeply rooted in the land and there everyday language which is so appealing.
Maybe there is something else I haven’t yet encountered in my nature wanderings which will guide me on my journey of discovery which aligns to me. The journey of self discovery can be met with our attachments of needing to be the same as others when we really need the power to find our own path without the need of acceptance.
One mushroom I do know very well is an old collaborator of art and thats the Shaggy Inky Cap Mushroom which is middle picture and I have tub full of gooey ink for some new ideas. The ink was used to write important documents as you could detect the spores ensuring it wasn’t a forgery. Believed to conceal secrets beneath it and sometimes known as “melancholy beauty” due to its fleeting existence and dark gloopy inky residue.
In my belief it holds more than above as it has gifted us ink and my reciprocity is to use it for expression in the creation of something new. Therefore, it helps reveal my secrets to share with the world through inspiration.
It is an encourager to express.
Some more of my passion to create small nature scenes of what the month holds. It inspires my painting and I feel autumn is a kindred spirit of melancholy.
As you walk through the Autumn wilds its colours infuse into your consciousness even when there is a chill in the air these colours create a warmth in your spirit , something deeply satisfying and it feels like a spiritual home.
When you look upwards the mottling light illuminates the vast array of autumn colours showing the passing of time.
This time is magic
Bakethin Nature Reserve
At this time of year when the mass foliage depletes little groves and secret paths are revealed which contained a surprise of Raspberries still fruiting just with a little blush of cold on them. The honourable harvest guides us in not taking the last as it is meant for creatures to survive but for one moment it reminds me of a hot abundant summer.
I feel in-between an over excited squirrel seeking mushrooms and someone making snap shots of my friends as it will be the last time we will be young and free. I spend most of my time crawling on the floor chattering to them , asking consent for a picture , asking how it is, whilst a mindful eye that people are not watching.
All that remains is the woody fronds which supported the seeds of life once gracing whites and light greens until they separated into individual seeds scattering for the next year. Its fractal elegance making its own statement of whats beautiful. Even now there is a few remaining Clover supporting the faith of spring before all becomes compost to the under world.
Little tiny creations of orange are popping up from the forest floor and you have to be wary of where you tread so not to disturb them. Aptly named Orange Coral Fungus bring marvel to the forest floor of deadwood , moss, leaves and pine needles decorated with the odd twig adorned with a pine cone or wrapped in lichen.
They remind me that all is never lost, it is just re imagining itself before revealing new way of being by reaching upwards towards the dappled light. It is like us tentatively revealing ourselves into the world after darkness had consumed our hearts.
