Ways of the lonely ones
I had decided to postpone my Fairy Woodland trip this week as I was struggling with my mood. However later on there was good news with unexpected invites for exhibitions for my paintings.
When my mood is low i think that I will have to do something else to financially support myself as I convince myself what I am doing isn’t working, Then I receive signs coming through in forms of dreams and amazing comments that I am doing the right thing and I need to keep the faith. I feel I am on the right path but all logic defies that, I wonder whether other people experience this.
Due to its size and diversity of the Fairy Woodland I am interested in replacing Hareshaw Linn for 12 months of photographic diary alongside Bakethin Nature Reserve and Bull Crag Peninsular at the beginning of 2026, also it may have some value in outdoor painting for me.. Hopefully a day out in November or maybe December to enjoy a new woodland as respite from my usual weekly life.
Before the pandemic lockdown when I was struggling with my life I became interested in spiritualness with a hope it may help me : I didn’t really know what that meant. I know now the answers are within me not in the external world but it placed me on lifelong spiritual learning journey especially with nature.
There are infinite answers as there is of space in the universe and each answer is particular to ourselves, learning Mindfulness clears the cluttering of other peoples opinions so you may find your own truth. How do you know what is truth if you're not aware of yourself and your environment ?
I reached out to different aspects of spirituality to see what appealed to me. I bought a book by Manly Hall “the ways of the lonely ones” which I romanticised a mystical character like Merlin deeply connected to the land. walking his own path. A lonely one fitted very much what my life had been and wandering the woodlands and moorlands had been something I always was drawn to.
Our western modern culture makes people as failures or outcasts if they prefer their own company which is quite odd as there is as much people alone as with others. I have never felt lonely nor think of myself as “alone” either as I have a wonderful companion Stella ( the cat) , I feel the presence of spirit whilst wandering nature, and, I have lovely people in my life who I love but not attached to.
Being on my own feels natural so maybe I am one of those Manly wrote about.
When I sit and meditate in what is called “solitude” I feel in the presence conscious awareness.
We all have separate realities even those whom fits into the typical society norms and although my Autism creates a resistance in conformity through feeling awkward , displaced and wrong it is only due to having to be like somebody your are not and when that attachment had been released it really doesn’t matter whether people are labelling or excluding me. If only I knew this decades ago !
Who wants to be in the company of people who are unkind to others just because they are different ?
Being a master of solitude it is in my opinion that being with yourself is empowering , you learn about yourself more deeply , the grip of other peoples opinions loosens and you get to see your own path as the noise of labels , conditions and rules lessens enabling clarity, It is the road of self realisation.
You are not a freak wanting to be in your own company , be single or anything else regarding solitude: you are strong and secure in your own being.
I guess Manly Hall knew this and wanted to show the beauty of that path in a poetical way and I fully embrace the romance of it especially when I wander in nature or sit quietly painting in mother earths company. It feel like as I disappear from sight of society norms I become limitless and more visible to the acceptance of nature and myself.
Hareshaw Linn
Woodlands in autumn reminds me of Jackson Pollock paintings especially the Silver Birch Trees as their small leaves sparkle in the sunlight contrasting with the silvery bark and bands of muted greens and browns.
Silver Birch ( Betula Pendula). was one of the first trees to colonise Britain after the ice age and is known as “pioneer species” due to its seeds easily disperse into the winds, it is one of the first to come back after forest fires giving its association of resilience , adaptability , initiation and renewal. It is a versatile tree as parts are edible and in the spring offer syrup. You can make tea from it , paper from the bark and tone wood for musical instruments.
In Gaelic tradition its associated with the Faeries ( Sidhe) and the land of the dead ( Tir no nOg ) especially associated with returning back from the grave which is appropriate during the time of Halloween which was originally a period of time rather than a celebratory day.
I hope you all had a very spooky time
There are more beautiful species of trees to capture your heart along the path which have such magic in their colour. Nature is so mystical with its hidden colours and each one so different. For me , I love the dark speckles on the yellows and love to find shapes by swapping out positive and negative spaces on each one.
I think it would be rude not to include the woodland floor and more images of Mushrooms when life is showing you abundance , be abundance yourself and connect to its energy. Every nook and cranny at this moment has a story to tell you , the more you seek the more you find as nature brings synchronicity into your life as its so happy for your inquistive curiosity and wants to include you so you may re wild yourself.
What I see is shapes , colours , lines and stories of the infinite cycle of life. I see paintings which have intuitively emerged from an inner knowing of the depths of our souls. I am not looking for meaning but of re-connection through feeling. A leaf being a daub of colour defying colour theory, lines of different thickness of twigs and branches or maybe a moment of paint strokes creating texture with your fingers to dark and light contrasts.
Bull Crag Peninsular
Those greens and yellows with ever increasing dark purplish spots start turning into reddy browns now ready to release itself into the storms and carpet the forest floor enriching the ground with beautiful memories of a wonderful summer. Our collective memories are held in the under world and it is where life merges from.
Nature knows you the same and as we acknowledge the thinning veil of dimensions of spirit and the dead during Halloween it is a time of remembrance of our ancestors and our souls journey.
It is today my Dads second anniversary of him passing away so I will spend some time having a chat and showing what I have been doing.
Our ancestors are not just Humans , but rocks , plants and trees , creatures and the soil which cradles life.
Bull Crag Peninsular offers so much difference when it came to Fungus as there is intermittent sections of forest and open areas along the lake shore. It is popping into different realities as you walk along its path. One moment grasses and diminished plants scatter along the verges displaying their structure some too weary to stand erect and others becoming a network of spiders webs catching the remaining insects of the year. The next moment , the forest floor is displaying Inky fungus by the side of the path and golden mushrooms giving benediction to felled trees still lying waiting to be transformed in a cloak of moss and lichen.
Bakethin Nature Reserve
Even now there are pockets of Heather still thriving and displaying its jewel like flowers , the deep lilac has faded and will soon turn into Indian reds. I seemed to of spent my time here waiting for their arrival and now watching them support winters passing. There is beauty in the anticipation for 2026.
I love finding old darken leaves dangling from branches I find the depth of their colour exquisite and alluring to my aesthetic senses. After a storm finding leaves held by other plants grasping for a little dignity after losing their own. You can imagine the mass swirling of leaves sweeping through the area. It is after the storm that a woodland contains much energy stored which feels magical. Be sure not to venture in woodlands during high winds but I am eager to visit just after to sense that energy.
When it comes to late Autumn and Winter I am wondering whether there will be things to capture to show its beauty as if you were there yourself investigating every aspect and detail. There is something poetical in leafless trees and a singular remaining leaf hanging onto its mother. I never find anything in nature an aesthetic cliche but a wonderment of life. There are different things to experience it is just about opening your mind and letting your heart do the looking.
I had wondered whether to include my outdoor paintings as it is a cross over to my painting but everything is connected what I paint I see in nature and vice versa.
I do not look to paint exactly whats in front of me but letting it inspire my marks whilst I am sat feeling the energy , looking at the forms , the colour ,and lines to take me on a journey.
It is like music , meditation or perhaps theatre as you are as much involved in the unfolding of moment to moment and engaging in it is never about the final chord or word. In our modern world we are obsessed with products , perfectionism sensationalism and miss the delight of just being in what you are doing without any attachments.
watercolour on cartridge paper A3
