12th September 2026
A weekly journal with Trees , Flora and Fungi , Photography , Mindful wanderings and my life journey in Kielder Forest.
We successfully had an additional up to date microchip placed for Stella , she is so wonderful , never complains and the chip injection did hurt her and all she did was a little meow to the vet. So proud of her even though she was quite stressed but after an afternoon of cuddles we were back as best of friends. As it did stress and hurt her i left the connecting to the cat flap for a few more days only to find that the cat flap was faulty and the mechanism to lock is stuck un-locked so we are waiting for a replacement. The cat flap saga continues.
Once upon a time 16 years ago i decided to go self employed in a middle of a recession in the construction industry , my employer did not want to see me go which made things even harder for me. I actually tossed a coin , it said “Stay” , best of three it said “Stay” then i realised how i was feeling about it and made the jump. 10 year later after the virus lockdown i closed it down to start a more healthier and connected life : It is that feeling i keep getting right now !
The more i think about putting my paintings in a commercial setting out of context of my journey and needing to ask permission to put my art on somebodies wall, giving my power away for the chance to make some money , the more i realise that i need to wait for the right opportunity and place for it.
I feel that i need to say to myself that my paintings are not for capitalism or a system which generates anxiety into fitting in to other peoples ideologies.
Over my life before i knew about my neuro divergency people expected of me to explain something and if i had not done this on demand it was interpreted that i did not understand it as they think everyone experiences life the same way : I used to feel obliged to try and respond and created a sense of being a fraud or useless. I recognised this in a conservation with someone over the weekend and it did trigger me at first , i did begin to over think things but somehow my mindfulness training kicked in and i let it be.
You do not owe someone a explanation ! You do not need to prove to someone anything ! Just because you cannot verbalise something at the moment does not make you lesser or not knowing something ! Just because you do not come across in way they expect does not reflect on your abilities. !
In essence i want my paintings to express an experience of nature which people would never imagine : A pulsating , animate world of constantly changing energies mostly unseen combined with a devotion of creating from your inner knowing rather than intellect. Maybe this manifests into a show , or as Zines/Book although i had thought that once the show is over there is a burning ceremony of that work to reflect impermanence of the cycles of time.
After a lot of heart to heart , well i only have one heart , so maybe heart to mind. That i just need to work on my paintings and let the right opportunity find its way to me rather than hustling after crumbs. As you would say “ Let God”
I have been working on developing this website by creating a pathway to share more of my connection to nature to encourage other people.
There will be a blog about finding art in nature called “Rooted in Wonder “ as my nature journey began with this.
Like i have been doing on social media i am going to have a daily blog of what is emerging or changing in Kielder Forest , focusing on nature wisdom , folklore and field notes but just sometimes the simplicity of allowing nature tell its own stories, of what is here right now which will be called “ The Wood Remembers”
The work is energy to bring love and connection to people through nature.
Bakethin Nature Reserve
It is exciting when spring comes along and there is an explosion of abundance , lots of energy and things to connect to especially after the emptiness of winter , i love July and August as they soak in the sunshine biding their time with a slow cadence whilst wild flowers come and go. September , for me anyway , is transition of new and old. What i adore is the messiness of nature which looks chaotic but i see harmony of everything together , i see music and grace intertwined and its magic
I was not expecting this new fellow within the woodland. The summer has been long , hot and very dry but it only took one dousing and these guys are popping up everywhere. The Fairies are coming early to prepare for Samhain : which reminds of the Gypsies coming to rest for a few days in my old town Masham on route to Appleby fair.
September is about contrast , the brand new and its formative self, changing expression and soon after there will another change that will be mesmerising to whats about to be revealed. How can you not love this , it showing you grace of your maturation and that there are more unknown layers within you than you are aware of.
I have been in love with these little white flowers and in later journal this month i will show that they have become abundant along the shores of the reservoir but for now i am showing them as once found. The frequency illusion of seeing lots more once you have noticed something is a beautiful mindfulness connection effect in nature building up more awareness of whats around you.
I had found in Hareshaw Linn the female catkins of the Alder tree and beside a beautiful stream lies a lonley Alder in Bakethin close to the second nature pond where the female catkins are more prominent. I love their textures and forest green colours. It is not surprising they blend into the trees foliage but in a month the leaves will of left the catkins and for sure now i will be knowing where to visit them in their own journey of turning brown from green and then disappearing.
There are still wishes to be had with remaining Dandelion seed heads , a mixture of still flowering cow parsley and those turned a beautiful Umber brown amongst the mass of wild plants along the pathways.
Everywhere i go now the Knapweed en-masse are absolutely gorgeous. My mosh pit of purple headed punks have now turned into older and wiser gentlemen tutting at the still not wanting to grow up wild flowers left in autumn.
In the Field , Sketches
Although i do feature some of this on my art website i seem to feel it has more relevance to me describing the journey of painting here.
As i have Aphantasia and cannot visualise the inner knowing which i connect to has to begin somewhere in sketches and processes. Although i have a particular process in mind , i completely let go , begin with drawing and just intuitively apply colour , mostly for myself the colour and form does not need to match as i am trying to find its inner animate energy and how that pulsates within me , what draws me in gesturally.
I had i mind all week a place along the banks of the North Tyne River near my village that had masses of old knapweed which and i wanted to express this for my mono print ideas which last week i had no idea what to call , but now i am leaning towards the “essence of nature”.
But first a warm up to a lovely spot on the opposite side of the path and then another part of the bank of dying plants which i had decided on for this weeks visit. The sketches are beginnings of finding how things manifest materially in my storytelling , they become embodied within me and outwardly expressed into something more abstract.
Left : Watercolour , Pencil & Crayon on A4 Paper
Right : Watercolour and Charcoal on A3 Cotton Rag Paper
The Essence of Nature
A flower never hold on to itself
as it knows in its heart
that it will re-create itself
Watercolour , Pencil & Charcoal Mono Print on A2 Paper
Hareshaw Linn
It is a long pause of green , a moment to reflect upon the year you have had where within a moments breath the wind changes and leaves begin to fall , the bird song stops singing reminding the trees to celebrate themselves displaying wondrous colours. It is your own time to reflect , not on what you have produced but within your own cycles how you have changed , grown and loved.
I know , who would take a photograph just like this , i mean what am i thinking , how on earth will this get me attention : don’t i want to be famous ? The answer is love , the love of the connection to reality of nature , the devotion of nature as within it is the expression of the divine and seeing this brings joy. Who would want to be famous if you can experience this ?
Go out and connect to something real , messy and find the delight of life through your camera , words or drawings. There is no need to do anything but acknowledge that for that moment you exist within the same expression of consciousness.
The harvest time begins , nature does not have calendars , it has feelings of when something is right , it knows itself and allows itself to manifest its gifts to the world. The Elderberries are a cluster of deep purple tiny baubles set onto bright red stalks and the berries make the most wonderful hot pie , or a hot cordial full of nutrients which refresh you thirst whilst having picnic in the autumn forest.
It has been a stressful time of high tempretures and little rain which has not plumped out the Blackberries but still there are some to find now , just wee bit smaller and perhaps with more rain coming now those still on their journey may benefit.
My harvest is the autumn shapes , textures and colours which inspire my paintings. My palette will move with the seasons , my marks and movements will become autumn within me once again. What i see embodies within me and find itself on my paintings.
Bull Crag Peninsular
When the Birch trees in spring fill the branches there is a special quality similar to a George Seurat pointillism painting and its amazing to just witness . In early autumn there is a similar expression when a small quantity of the leaves turn into yellow ochres and light reddy browns it creates a mottling affect which enhances the tree experience bringing out something more complex.
My favourite is seeing a small branch with turned leaves beside it , it contains something magical , that the trees are inviting you into their world and witness their hidden layers of colours in a intimate and personal way.. It is something i yearn for during the summer months when everything becomes densely green.
There a secrets to be found in September , as i said before , September requires your attention to connect as nothing at this moment is apparent. There maybe a strange blackberry cluster with a new flower , old flowers , not quite made it green berries and sometimes the sweetest of blackberry you have ever had. If do not linger then you will not meet a beautiful but shy mushroom nestling in the under growth.
I kinda knew they would emerge , as the yellows like the Ragwort fade away there is another surprise populating the verges between the path and the reservoir , what was almost empty but the tiniest and grasses now are full of the brightest yellow flowers in masses. I have not yet identified them , and i remember last year them coming but could not remember whether it was August or September.
The Raspberry now have spent up and what is left dangling from the sparse tentacles and ageing leaves have dried but for me this is beauty , i connect to the story of them and wish them a safe journey back so they may return once again.
I am waiting for my Mushroom identifier but i can say that i have never come across one that looks like this here or in North Yorkshire. Totally un-expected and it was in place i found no fungi last year and it was un-missable even though it was quite deep into the woods beside the track. I was caught by some tourists talking to it whilst making some photographs , fortunately they laughed rather than looking at me as i were a madman.
Spring and Summer contains so much energy that it is often to miss the woodland sections especially as they are quite dormant in those months. In September there is a shift and Heather is the first to awaken in late summer , early autumn and whilst vast moorlands coloured in purple is spectacular i like the small intimate stories of this amazing flower finding itself illuminate the once still woodland. Like the birdsong awakens the trees in summer , it is like the Heather is the precursor for moss and lichen to awaken in the woods which send the trees asleep.
