29th August 2026
Weekly Mindfulness and Nature Journal
I have been putting more time into my meditations and since my holidays i have managed to consistently do them everyday even at times a few hours in the day. The work i have been trying is to being able to transit from the constant narrative in my mind without forcing it which takes time in just noticing whether i am pushing away or letting it be whilst gently return to breath.
Over the last few week i have noticed a little insight , a Sadness which lies in the centre. I have been thinking about my Aphantasia and Autism as a vehicle of dis-connection , not fitting in and betrayal to which i have to move from anger , depression and anxiety into feeling the tenderness of sadness.
The sadness is something beautiful , to be held and cherished ; a gift from the universe. It is not what happened as thats happened , it is not the divergencies which contrast the world or play mind games in my own world of not being enough , its not what it may invoke something negative as thats has not happened , nor anger or depression as a consequence as those are my attachments distorting my reality.
It is a lotus flower in bloom deep within you which weeps for the world and nourishes love and compassion.
Maybe an in-complete circle , like an Enzo in which nothing needs to be done , over thought , over explained and being that in-complete circle of divergencies is something to nurture and treasure.
I managed to get my 3 places photographed for September journal before the rain storms arrived and also included a “in the field , sketch” which i wasn’t mugged by a million midges and was ok with passers by. This is an autistic trait which burns you out by practicing every conceivable conservation and this one having friendly response to “it doesn’t look like ! “
I did not get my map in time for visiting Stonehaugh to get some “Meet a Tree “ images and to assess whether it would make a good 2027 journal place. Hopefully Tuesday/ Wednesday this coming week i can go as we are forcasts quite a bit of rain in the next few days. . I am getting a bit more confident about painting in public and there is a picnic area in the middle of the forest so i will be taking my paints just in case i find something.
Bakethin Nature Reserve
There is always a part at the beginning of my photographic adventure for this journal when things become similar like August and September that i wont have enough to share or that i will be sharing the same thing. Nature teaches you that you do not need to wow , to be validated and being yourself is a feast.
That nuanced background thought patterns of needing to impress , fit in with what i make still lingers but i have managed to do me no matter how it nags at me. .
I always seem to be pleasantly surprised afterwards with what i find to tell its monthly story.
You can sense something especially in the woodland that things are changing , i cannot explain the feeling , it is like the energy shifts or perhaps you detect a conscious intention : like it is whispering things but you do not know the language !
I get a sense of change , there is a little sadness that these beautiful plants are leaving once again but excited about seeing their journey back to the ground to enable their return next year. Our ancients did not believe the underworld was an evil place , the underworld is where life emerged from and returned to. You see it on Scandinavian pagan markings on shaman drums and if you been on a shaman journey it is often the entrance to the other worlds.
I see the underworld as the soil itself , what is directly beneath us and built up knowledge over billions of years. If i was writing a passage on the “Battle of the Trees” or “Cad Goddeu” i would be saying i had spent a million years as soil and then i became a worm which could exist in both realms.
I watched a science review in which Meteorites , older than earth , contain organic organisms which have populated earth upon their impact. My mind wonders to how a conscious universe is so in love with plants and creatures it disperses them like seeds when a planet ceases to be.
There is still magic to find , still things popping up and simple beauty of a bright red Raspberry. I always snigger when i write “raspberry” as its a naughty action in Britain and reminds me when i was a child watching the Two Ronnies TV sketch “ The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town”.
I can hardly wait for the Blackberries to ripen and if i am patient enough witness creatures enjoying them.
At this time of year i love the delicate spindly plants , their stalks propping the tiniest of flowers or dried seed heads. I marvel at their strength to keep upright and to shine out amongst the more thuggish plants. You do not need to be bold , noisy or bossy to be noticed. Being yourself is much more important , it is a pity this wisdom is not learnt earlier on in life.
In the Field , Sketches
I went painting in Bakethin Nature Reserve rather than along the river near my Village. I was not sure whether the weather will hold out to go separately therefore made a joint trip. I had placed myself by a verge of plants and my main aspiration is to find the animate pulsating heart rather than copying whats in front of me. I fall into a trap of expectations of something when i should allow whatever comes from me : its that Aphantasia of not being able to visualise which causes this and i just have to let it be as a passing thought.
I had another visitor , this time a Dragonfly with its beautiful shimmering iridescent long body. Sometimes it feels like my Mum watching over me in different guises , but, i will take my stillness of painting attracting curious creatures and joining in . The last time was a Stoat who sat with me until a dog walker came by.
Hareshaw Linn
Talk about signs when i am out in nature and here is one. A beautiful Hazel nut forming in the woodland. My Mum was called Hazel. This is the first time i have noticed Hazel Trees in this woodland and whilst walking i spotted some nuts fallen on the floor and being curious i looked up and here they were.
Now , if you were a bard then a drink of an infusion of hazelnuts would provide the necessary guidance. A crown of Hazel twigs could make your deepest desire come true. Druid , wizards and pilgrims favoured a walking staff made for Hazel to provide protection and a wand has much power ; My Hazel stave resides in my conservatory.
Hazel Trees have been in the landscape for around 8000 years , after the ice age. The Mesolithic hunter gatherer relied on them and harvested them on a industrial scale through coppicing Archaeology findings on the Island of Colonsay and other Scottish locations discovered 30-40 thousand tonnes of charred hazelnuts
Mainly from bottom to top the purple flowers drop onto the ground whilst some petals at the top are just about to open up : just like the foxgloves do. And , that beautiful dark cadmium yellow standing proud showing us how truly divine this planet is.
Just sit and honour its sublimity for five minutes , feel it reach into you awakening the innate wildness.
Just to keep you all in the loop to the Sycamore seeds preparing themselves for the autumn storms , that previous red blush is almost gone now and its just patience watching the world pass them by.
It feels like my 2026 family is growing up and becoming themselves and that maturation happens in August. Next time , the green blackberries will either be taken or sat nice and juicy for something , the Wild Rose Hip will be a beautiful red along with the Hawthorn berries which lean to the crimson.
In light of the drought and heat wave i decided that i would not forage this year and leave it all to the creatures.
Little markers of Autumn show themselves up , the growth around a twig dwindles , the verges become more brown than green , exquisite flower heads remain after their petals departed and leaves show off a hidden colour to bring back colour for October.
Bull Crag Peninsular
I adore the purple clover during the summer months and fascinated by how something so mystical , beautiful and part of our heritage is over looked by visitors to the Peninsular. Their beauty doesn’t diminish as the purple petals before they are released turn a gorgeous english red.
The Rowan berries are on their way to be fully ripened deep red which will sing out so much that you would of not realised that their so many Rowan trees in the vicinity. Raspberries are still flaunting their stuff which hope at some point will sustain a creature for a while longer.
Some of the flowers become more prettier when they were as they turn leaving beautiful textural little dried flower heads which i cannot help myself to inquire into and photograph.
What i love about this place is that as you move along the environment changes by even a few hundred yards , one moment all is done and then there are Thistles not done yet , beautiful yellows , cow parsley still in flower but like magic it changes into something quite diverse , grasses twinkling in the light ready to seed and Broom seeds back lit in the sun showing a rare blue.
The sun now slowly drops in the sky into autumn filtering the morning sun through the woodlands highlighting the native trees in the back ground by illuminating their leaves. Very soon those leaves will depart leaving the pines to receive all the sunlight bringing out their depth of colours and textures on the bark. Change always brings new life.
