Life and Reflections from Kielder
Weekly Journal of life , nature and creative encounters
Life and Personal Reflections
This week has flown by and began with a visit to Allen Banks and Starward Gorge on my quest for finding trees for my “meet a tree” blog. I am so pleased that i managed to go , the 194 acre National Trust property was once a Victorian garden which incorporated existing native trees and its magnificent. I managed half the woodland walks as i wanted the second half to be in spring.
They will be featuring on “Meet a Tree” December and into January : Coming in this month is Kielder Drive followed by Hindhope Linn.
I also wanted to collect more Autumn leaves for my Gallery “ The Hidden Colours of Autumn” which now is completed and i have made some short videos and carousels for social media.
I felt quite bad having to move on with a friend but it felt time. There seems to be a pattern in my life where i am taken for granted and often let down. I just felt that its time that if i have people in my life that i want them to care about me , include me , listen to me and receiving a text when they should of been at my home “they are doing something better” doesn’t fit into that model.
Along my Mindfulness path over the last 6 years i have let go of people and as i have become more connected , content and less affected. The old patterns of chasing , letting people use me or take me for granted has lessened. I would say it is the biggest positive gift which Mindfulness has given me. The second was learning “Insight” as that has opened up so many doors of knowing myself more , finding that i like myself and that it was not me which caused so much pain and disconnection.
I went for a practice day in Hareshaw Linn earlier in the week to learn how to make short videos to tell more stories of noticing and connecting to nature. At the moment its just shorts as i do not have a Gimbal ( Thingy ! ) for my camera to make longer form for Youtube , but Youtube does have already one subscriber with one short video !
The sunny day took a few hours of mist to clear , i love the mist in the woodland and also across the reservoir. The mist sometimes help isolate out plants and trees whilst photographing them. I have a place along the Peninsular which i love to stop , there is a wooden sculpture which you can sit in and watch the boats bobbing in the water , i always stop with a flask of coffee and spend 20 minutes absorbing life.
Autumns decline has my heart as much as spring emergence. In my life , it is a metaphor that i am not broken , i am enough and everything has its place. Becoming myself understands that i do not need to be seen , explain , prove or in the western terms have success. Each moment will never be the same , the shapes , forms , colours and arrangements . Even though life repeats itself , the perfection is imperfect to an industrial system which cares for products. I see the messy , the chaos and the mostly unloved forms as the divine waiting for hearts to encounter and minds to silence. My success is that i can see divinity !
There is one place remaining which has a colony of mushroom , from the tiniest popping through the moss , some larger beside tree trunks to keep shelter and those beside rotting fallen branches which have now a few bites taken out of them. Mother nature must of known of the coming drought and allowed a bumper crop last year in compensation to this year.
Although nearer Kielder Waterside which has a row of magnificent Beech trees there are little of them elsewhere and you have to look carefully for those hints of copper after its yellow phase. I love the patches of watercolour greens and golden yellows and then as if nature had painted over the yellow with beautiful browns leaving a hint of its former colour. It is this inquiry and curiosity which strengthens your mindfulness and released those psychological nature connection benefits.
In the Quiet of the Wild
The forest form which has resided here for decades now for this year made my approach a lot easier than it did last year : There is a sense of home coming when i return to this place , that we intimately know each other now , a trust and a common intention.
It begins with sitting in stillness , perhaps a cup of coffee and just being in the forests presence. Then i may look for a while and feel its movement , its mood and what is it saying to me. A response is two way , how i feel filters what is made. Mindfulness plays a part in noticing myself , am i trying too hard ? am i attached to an outcome of being liked or success of the encounter ? or am i just like the forest , serene , playful and my mind still ?
The less my thoughts are involved the more i feel connected to how i respond , beginning with grounding my instinct on palette , deciding how i should wet the paper and then letting the dance begin as if it was incidental. It is the dance which creates the magic for me , i become the up-turned root , a feel the moss holding onto me , and i let myself follow the rhythm with my own marks. I let the water disperse the colours into fade and then deepen as if that colour is a growing entity , the form unfolds before me which then i may respond : Sometimes that response is pencil following the movement catching blobs of paint and carrying them along mingling together everything , just like its the forest. Sometimes it feels that i need to add another colour , i do not question the impulse but obey with faith that my higher self understands itself. There is no deciding , i know which colour without uttering words . Then , sometimes i leave it alone but with all i place it on the forest floor as a ritual offering.
I feel i have to exhaust myself with my process until i am ready to experiment and for a while everything feels disconnected , discombobulated and uncertain. I have no way to see it and that plays deeply with my doubt , my mind tells me i have no right to paint and through that turmoil comes something : it feels like the forest forms themselves , broken , upside down and left for dead. But they are not , mother tree supports it , moss covers its wounds and the light beckons its roots as if they were branches until it becomes integrated into the whole.
A simple moment of silence
be the stillness
in the presence of allowing
do nothing
wait without preference
let the marks emerge
from your body
in its own time
be those marks
let the paper observe
and let go
Christopher Evans
Small Encounters | Small Responses
Pencil & Watercolour on A3/A4 & Sketchbook
Larger Responses | Felt Sense
Pencil , Charcoal & Watercolour Mono Print on A2 Paper
Bull Crag Peninsular
It is a little too near the carpark for a coffee resting place but never the less i have to stop on my way towards Bakethin Nature Reserve from Matthews Linn just for the reason of its ever changing view and a little gasp of air after a hill climb. On the way back i still cannot help even if its 5 minutes to stop , the road bridge adds as it shows humans and nature together.
I found amongst the reclining blackberry bush a wee twinkle of life , a flower just emerged . Summer foliages have masked the sunlight light then as the leaves have dropped there was a moment in which it received the exact amount of light to flower in November. It takes just that , a right moment and things happen and all you need is patience and intention.
It is natures presence that helps realise that there is only one moment and when you arrive in that moment life explodes in front of you , colours pop out , funny mysterious forms appear and when you breath in , you breath in serenity. There is no magic therapy of the forest in which you can buy , it already exists within you which the forest invites you by sharing its moments as if it once too was lost within itself.
You cannot expect it to happen , you cannot force it to happen and if your mind is needing an outcome it will not happen. Release yourself from your bonds , free yourself from expectations and let go of outcomes.
Hareshaw Linn
A gentle breeze founds its way through the trees which at intervals leaves fell parachuting onto the already multi coloured path and then in-between a single note released itself from a nearby branch like the whole woodland was playing a tune.
Interspersed amongst the yellow fairy lights illuminating the path way are the copper tones of the beech , like mini fires burning brightly. As for now , the Oak has now miraculously transformed from green to golden browns ; and if you catch one in flight folklore tells you that you will be free of winter ailments.
Along the banks of the Burn , it is the copper and reddy browns which seem to dominate by framing itself around mini waterfalls which is now in full flow once again since before the drought.
There are things of wonder , discovered plants which i walked by many times but at this moment they were not letting a sole walk by without them noticing bright light colours on a background of dark browns.
I am not even sure whether i have climbed down to the fairy pool and waterfall mid way of the walk , quite often i am mesmerised by two striking trees which perhaps take my focus from one of many waterfalls along the path
But , today i climbed down and witness its glory of thundering water framed by autumn yellows . Do the fairies catch the bright yellowy gold leaves as magical gifts of luck as it seems very little gathers on the surrounding ground ?
What is for sure , when humans have gone for the night they dance around this place.
I think i like the Rose Hips more when they begin to dry and wrinkly and then turn the darkest of blacks. What i find special , is the Oak leaves transformation colours , firstly patches of yellow , then reddy browns to beautiful umbers and after the rain when fully saturated they sing to me.
Autumn is to pause , the drama is upwards , across but also do not miss the multicoloured display upon the ground , especially after a storm when nature has done a little colour mixing.
