28th March 2026
The wee bit of warmth and sunshine was welcoming this week and promising for better weather to do my April photographs and woodland wanderings.
There is often debate whether spring is beginning of the month or at equinox but i feel it differently to that. Nature knows when spring is here , it will show you and you will feel it.
About now i am thinking about my year and letting go of the previous one. A new beginning of waking up to new life and growth. What is it i really want and how do i want to be is my play track. I know Stella the cat would like that to be a combination of play and snuggles.
There is a conflict within me of what i want my life to be and baked in anxiety of not thinking that will ever work. I begin to doubt myself and the universe and then discard everything i have done for something new hoping it wil help me. My Aphantasia plays a part as i cannot visualise a future there is a blankness which i assume is nothingness. But those are interpretations of a feeling from a untue story of myself. It is quite delicate thing to navigate , am i just being fearful and that when its ready everything will manifest and i should trust or is it the needing to control everything required to save myself. But at this moment there is nothing to save, i am just letting my thoughts create a problem without giving what i am doing room to breath. Maybe the universe just wants me to focus on whats in my heart and stop changing everything. Perhaps thats my learning for 2026 to let go of needing to make things happen.
I want to believe that this home which magically manifested and stayed available for me when it really should not have due to events this time last year is my destiny home , my forever home and a place where i found my space , myself and is sustainable. Plus Stella the cat absolutely loves it here and knows more neighbours than i do.
I have nearly been here one year and looking back on what i have created i am really proud of . My art has evolved in ways i would never of thought, i have written this diary, and my photographs have evolved. I am adding some more outside painting in April with Oil to express textures and i am looking at adding something on this website but i have not quite worked out what yet as my ideas have not landed with enthusiasm.
Bakethin Nature Reserve
I am pleased i have decided to return back here . I do not think that Forestry England really understands the magic of this place , its amazing matured environment and the healing properties for humans that many keep on returning to each year. I think it was a mistake to fell all those trees but even so , it is a magical place still. I still get very annoyed at the devastation they caused for profit.
I am drawn how the textural earthy colours which have manifested over the winter months. The contrasts make everything just pop out like there are other dimensions to experience.
The old grasses which seem to be within a kaleidascope of textures and colours each time i visit there is another turn of , earthy whites , sienna and reddy browns now have a secret of hidden new grasses ready to take the stage. One day very soon i will come here and the old grasses will be a forgotten memory.
New buds are easier to find and it is time to get up close and personal with them. To have a deep conversation with them and to notice their intricacies of form , the velvety buds ready to burst out colours.
But lets still not disregard the resilience of old plants of last year looking like jewels dangling of woody stalks mottled by the weather.
The juxtaposition of the ancient mossy forms , new coppice shoots eager to make leaves and a handsome heather resting beside a tree knowing its time isn’t ready until August delight me. The more i notice the more abundance of awe is found.
Bull Crag Peninsular
I had hoped that it would get a wee bit warmer with the promise of a sunny blue sky but never the less it was wonderful sitting out in the forest at 7am at minus 1 with cold fingers and ice forming on my paper, as its the most precious time of the day, a privilege to be sat in such beauty in the still quietness of the forest following the movement of old up-turned roots and finding the language of the moss forming shapes.
This week dedication to the trees of Bull Crag which are glorious in the winter setting as everything is stripped back leaving your attention to them. It shows that when our minds are busy we miss so much around us and that we too should strip back the noise and focus on our breath , our body and whats really important.
I am in love with the moss forming over up-turned tree roots and how a new eco system has be created showing change can manifest something beyond our wildest expectations.
I have been trying to find new forms to go and paint many places are a bit too far for me to carry my large paper painting boards. Photographs do not have the same feeling you have to directly communicate with nature, person to person to find its story and energy. It is not about painting what you see but what you feel and you let that feeling turn your marks into expression rather than copying.
In the Wild , Painting
Top Left : Watercolour on 56 x 76 cm Bockinford HP Watercolour Paper
Top Right : Watercolour on 33 x 50 cm Fabrinno Oil Paper
Middle Right : Watercolour on 140 x 210 cm Watercolour Sketch Book
Middle Left : Watercolour on 170 × 250 mm Leda Supplies Sketch Book
Bottom : Watercolour on A3 Canson Watercolour Paper
Hareshaw Linn
I take a small break just to consider the woodlands winter personality is going to quite quickly change its character and the revealed catkins , old leaves caught up in places and acorn caps stuck between twigs will soon be forgotten with their journey back to the earth unseen.
The leafless trees coated in moss will be softened by the abundance of green foliage and then buds of flowers and little ideas of nuts and seeds. I have been waiting for this moment , the moment of arising of nature consciousness. It is a blessing to witness this , to connect with this and remembering i am this.
I am here to celebrate the present moment of what holds everything together which life comes and goes from each year. The foundation of this earthy planet. The ancient which made everything possible. Where we are born from and our bodies return to as we too are leaves and flowers with just a longer cycle.
That our gratitude of life is about celebrating life.
