30th May 2026
I have been thinking how i have been drawn to building a richness of life into my life with this diary , nature, photography and painting in a organic way. Photographs are a good way to remember my past but i have found that maintaining a physical process of doing deepens my bond with the world. It seems that although i cannot recall there is a hidden memory in my being which comes out in flow. I will before painting have a sense of resistance that i have no idea what i am going to paint but when i begin something other takes over , maybe even ancestral within me , just knows what to do. The same with writing and i just see things in nature when i am out with my camera.
I believe this is innate within us , just like our qualities of wellbeing such as love , clarity , motivation and peace. The industrial world pushed us away from this connection and now the tech world is continuing this to a point some humans cannot distinguish between real and fake.
Our ancestors and even now indigenous people do not think about “nature connection” as they were nature and it was every part of their life , what they did , what they cared for , how they honoured it , how they respected it, how they connected personally to it through art. This deep belonging to nature connected them to life.
The more i am embodying this experience the less i care for the drama of social media and what the billionaires continuously spew out second by second within their platforms. I feel like the indigenous as i am not seeking connection as i have become nature and what flows through me honours the very gift which hold us in life.
I feel the antidote is people re-connecting themselves to the real world , invest time in nature and honour themselves with real human endeavours such a art. The more we spend in the real world the less likely the system has power over us. There is no resistance or fight back necessary just a sign “ out walking in nature with my camera”
I feel that my “Aphantasia” has gifted me the need to connect to something real and maintain that connection due to love. I think that “discipline” is something we force ourselves to do , that it is a word of capitalism and industry. When there is love you make an effort even on the hardest day.
Bakethin Nature Reserve
This year has gone so fast and now we are the last few days of May and perhaps as i have been so connected to what i have been doing that the passage of time has quickened. It was a moment , a blink away when everything was so barren. Those last weeks just before spring arrived the woodlands were so sparse and now the grass is unstoppably lush green and delicate lilac flowers beckon you over as if you were a bee.
I have photographed this exact place over the last 12 months and seen the same cluster of trees have different ground of grass colours to almost nothing. It is beside a nature pond adjacent to the reservoir. Each time i visit i fall in love with it. Maybe we should use photography of nature differently , less the need to wow others of our prowess of taking a picture and more like family snap shots when we all gather together.
These new spring plants are moments of anticipation , they are natures children ready to grow up and show themselves to the world without fear of insecurity that they are enough. How beautiful they are in this transition , that each of the moments catch my heart with wonder.
It is an unnatural world which creates anxiety by wanting to be yourself that we have to hide due to fear whether we fit into society rules and conditions. Where is the world which gives love , encouragement and has reverence to each one’s uniqueness. Instead of one narrative which serves the few we need billions of separate realities looking like a summer meadow sparkling in the sunshine or the endlessness of the stars. That is the world i want to see.
The winter clearance of the woodland revealing its secret paths and enclaves have encouraged me to rummage through the foliage and seek out the summer space especially in the early morning sunrise. I like the notion of the sun is shining upon me in the woodland from my home. Perhaps i should venture there at sunset but i expect i would not get the same solitude as 6.30am in the morning.
In the Wild , Painting
In the depths
of the soil
lies our soul
waiting for the
warmth of the sun
Top Left : Watercolour on Bockinford 56 × 76 cm Watercolour Paper
Top Right : Watercolour on Fabrinno 33 × 50 cm Watercolour paper
Middle left : Watercolour on 140 × 210 mm Watercolour Sketchbook
Middle Right: Watercolour on Leda Supplies 170 × 250 mm Sketchbook
Bottom : Watercolour on Canson A3 Watercolour Paper
Bull Crag Peninsular
There is a little community of Gorse along the path open to the reservoir , they are like a circle of Wizards asleep until their yellow crowns return and they can once again wield their magic. The bleached gnarly woods and deep olive leaves are deeply alluring by themselves but when the cadmium yellow flowers open up something quite magical happens. Even in our darkest days there is hope that once again if we hold steadfast to who we are there is a new beginning and it will be spectacular.
Moving through this place for 12 months has seen shifts of interests , the chaotic summers of colours and foliage along the paths pull all your attention and during the winters the calmness of the forest reveals its hidden beauty. It is this time when i feel that both have equal measures of draw. The fern fiddleheads of such variants of colours , texture and sizes ; the multi coloured mosses with ground hugging plants leaping up from them shout out at me for my attention. But , now the native trees are filling up with sweet things and wisps of leaves beside characterful tree barks are also my play thing.
Hareshaw Linn
It has been a year of coming to this beautiful little native woodland. It maybe small in size but it packs so much delight and wonder that time can pass so slowly in here that you may think you are in Narnia.
That bounding squirrel photographer of the winter woodland has now become a buzzy bee photographer jumping from one juicy looking flower and noting ones to return back to. My place of birth , Manchester , has the bee as its emblem and i am sure that my energy is Mancunian, but, i definitely know my social awareness is from their.
Although it was not the best circumstances i was quite pleased to have two months in my parents home last year before i moved here. It felt like a whole circle of life and that i had returned back to the beginning to start over once more. I think it was a good omen. I am not sure whether i will return back there again. Due to my Aphantasia i am not nostalgic so i will just let the wind decide upon it.
On the day of this posting i would of been early to visit here for Junes photographs and looking at these pictures i am quite excited to see the changes. Too much is as difficult to capture than winter emptiness and i am looking forward to seeing whether i can find different ways to express abundance.
The tiny world is my go to to express an abundant world in a woodland but as i grow and experiment with my camera i am looking to create more environmental images to showcase its wonder. I want to create a feeling of a place especially for those who have never been in a woodland , to see there is nothing to fear but everything to find delight , wonder and awe.
Your visit to a woodland does not need to be for therapy , you do not need to be on a spiritual path to appreciate and often we think we need to fix things when actually there is nothing wrong with us.
Your visit does not even need to have a purpose , have to achieve or get something. You can just go for the love of being there and the woodland will appreciate you just for this.
