23rd May 2026
I often pinch myself that i live here and when i can , and i should do it more often , i go for a walk through a beautiful forest from my home and land here for a cup of coffee and sit in silence. This brings me right back , it grounds me and settles the explosive dust rattling around my mind. It puts life into perspective and realise what i have already. The constant chatter of needs conceals , the urgent anxiety of whats to come distracts and the grasping at everything limits. I wonder where does faith come from to trust and then i see this and remember looking back everything , even the horrid stuff , worked out by itself just like nature does.
I have a tendency to do and do then some more until i burn myself out. Nature tells me that less is more , my anxious insecurity and distrust in how society works tells me do more but wisdom is saying “more of what , you do enough , let it settle, give it a chance and let things come in their own time”. Finding faith in that wisdom is my quest for freedom.
In insight mindfulness we meditate by letting everything be , our thoughts , our environment , our feelings without judgment. We sit in stillness and lean into with compassion our discomfort of life challenges. My challenges often is trying to do too much as i think i am not doing enough. It doesn’t matter how that challenge was formed but just to be with it and see it as it really is , a mis-truth lurking beneath the surface.
Maybe the universe is telling me i am already doing enough , that those gaps are needed and not to be filled with insecurity based actions. perhaps it is telling me to get up early and sit here with a flask of coffee and watch yourself in nature.
I awoke many times this week so negatively and i just left alone those thoughts of failure and leant into what i want to do. I thought “what would happen if i just did that , leave alone trying every conceivable plan my over thinking conjours up and lived as i want to ? “ How will my mind work if i brought myself back to this each every time there is panic , that i use this as a meditative anchor knowing that those fear based words are not me but a in-planted narrative.
Little Stella is having her challenges at the moment with other cats. The bully cat Pumkin wont stop coming in which Stella is distressed about. Then my neighbours cat Django is almost double her size is coming around , to be fair Django is young and he is coming to ask Stella to hang out and teach him to hunt. We are trying different strategies to stop Pumkin and a little chaperoning Stella when Django comes to ask to play as i think Stella would get used to Django.
Meet a Kielder Tree
I met this stunning Rowan tree a few weeks ago when i realised a wonderful path towards my morning view on the North Shore of Kielder Forest.
Bakethin Nature Reserve
Due to the logging activity i had not been near my favourite nature pond but curiosity had the better of me as i wanted to see my new found friend once again , have a wee sit and chat whilst noticing its changes. Each year promises something different and this year growth is slower but this allows me to capture the moments of joy at a less frantic pace. I think i have always been a little obsessed about transitions of time in nature even before mindfulness came into my life. Nature teaches you about wakefulness as if this is lacking, life seems binary rather than nuanced movement of life.
This translate into our life of needs as we miss the moments as we are engrossed in the anxiety of what if it goes wrong and what happened before. Being present with the moment helps you see how life unfolds , acknowledging how things are so you can make tiny adjustments rather than being hit by a tsumani which i admit has happened to me a lot. But , sometimes the storm has to happen regardless.
Absolute favourite of mine to photograph is the wisps of leaves beside the tree at this time of year when the leaf colours contain so much energy within them. As i spend time looking for this , it un-doubtingly filters into my body as movement which manifests into my paintings without needing the ability to visualise. My paintings are the testament that nature infuses into our bodies.
The plants , leaves and flowers celebrate the planet , they honour life and show that all forms that exist are equal , beautiful and full of wonder. The art of noticing this wonderful planet is letting go of believing that something is more beautiful than another and seeing the joy of life. Your eyes do not do this , nor does fitting into societal norms, looking at social media , it is your heartfulness of loving everything without condition which sees everything as beautiful. The mindful path teaches you to release these limitations and connect to wonder and awe.
I have been looking forward to the ferns arising within the forest. I love the fiddleheads but it is a close second to when they just unfurl as they look so vulnerable and delicate , the strands still unsure of themselves but most of all the harmonious colours infuse into my being and then seep out when i paint.
In the Wild , Painting
The shape of my heart
is leaf shaped.
Top Left : Watercolour on Bockinford 56 × 76 cm Watercolour Paper
Top Right : Watercolour on Fabrinno 33 × 50 cm Watercolour Paper
Middle Left : Watercolour on 170 × 250 mm Leda Supplies Sketch Book
Middle Right : Watercolour on 140 × 210 mm Watercolour Sketch Book
Bottom : Watercolour on Canson A3 Watercolour Paper
Bull Crag Peninsular
When i photograph nature i am opening my heart to all what resides in nature as wondrous turning the perceived limited into fullness of stories to share into the world. The mindful path of non judgement makes the fullness to infinite possibilities. When we move from societal norms and judgements something of great marvel happen to us as we connect to consciousness itself and life illuminates our reality beyond space and time. It is an intense feeling of coming home and belonging.
Try it yourself , Just for day , leave behind any form of judgement or need to make photographs which comply with rules and just look at everything , inquire into it , its form , its colours and texture , see how it fits into the environment , how it stands as itself, wonder in its awareness and see this as your long lost family. Let go that you need to make a great photograph and use your camera to connect. Do not worry what other people say , leave your own beliefs and judgements at home, what camera you have is enough , leave the tripod at home, do not think about what happens after, whatever the light is the light and just respond by connecting to joy and fun of doing.
Realise that rules and conditions are to limit the limitless in order to dominate and that finding your own way to connect and lean into the vulnerability of sharing who you are frees you.
Having fun in nature is a natural process of connecting back and when you share this joy then we have reciprocity as it begins to protect our nature which supports us.
Hareshaw Linn
I prefer photographing the intimate but i have been walking past this little waterfall and pool for a year now and it just looked magical with the new spring leaves. The Linn in its name refers to a much more impressive waterfall and pond right at the top but i like the smaller ones tumbling down into Bellingham. I am most sure that there are fairies and other entities gather here to tell their stories and to dance through the night.
From a month ago there is a distinct difference in energy from serenity of emptiness to now a different form of peacefulness where there is bird song , vibrant colours and filling of the space with greenery. Peace doesn’t need to be silent or still as it comes from within and holds life with love.
Peace is joy in your heart.
The beginning of nature connection is changing how you perceive yourself within nature , are you a spectator , or are you like the water passing through a woodland stream, perhaps a singing bird enjoying its summer residency and maybe that spring flower which has just bloomed.
Sit for some time in silence with your eyes open in your favourite nature place, lightly connecting to your breath and noticing your body grounded in your space and how it supports you. Slowly releasing your attention to your anchored breath and let everything be in your awareness , sights , sounds , aroma and yourself without judgement or preference. Who is that which is aware ?
How does it feel not needing to identify everything within your experience and letting nature ground and anchor you. Does it feel like you have awoken awareness just like a tree beside you ?
