16th May 2026
I have been working on some very challenging questions for my Artist interview which brought me back to the Mindfulness gathering regarding needs. One of the interview questions was about Autism and how it affects my creativity. The diagnosis has helped me recognise patterns in life which have repeated and caused friction but i had realised that it isn’t me , but a system forcing everyone to be the same which had caused me friction trying to fit. I wrote that now i know , i want to understand it , incorporate it and utilise it. I wrote that my Autism as a painter has needs .
My Autism does not need
perfectionism
Rules and conditions
fit in
follow a plan
be liked
be understood
be defined by it
I just need to be accepted as a human.
I also had a international art curating business contact me stating that my art was at a level and direction to take part in curated art shows across the world and invited me to join their program. Unfortunately i am not at the affordability to do this yet and they were really kind and understanding. However , i do not find it easy to gauge where my paintings fit into the art world so i was encouraged that i am the right road in that aspect, not that i would change what i do.
Working through a stormy mood feels often like it will never end and everything surrounding you is at odds with you. I must admit i used to until recently self medicate if it strongly persisted , it was the only time i would have alcohol as the affects were often as bad. This week began with poor sleep which is normally is a preamble to the on coming meloncholy , followed by numb , unclear and disturbed mind full of negativity. It feels like you are being possessed by a demon and your whole being is just angry for no reason.
My mindfulness practice invites me into a RAIN practice of Recognising , Allowing , Investigation and Nurture. However , my insight practice has realised simplicity is always best when faced with challenging moments especially within dark moods. Just to sit and be with it is enough. You take down the sails during a storm and brace yourself with compassion and kindness. Let the storm ride through , allow it , be with it , feel every part of it and just rest yourself bobbing about. The investigation comes later , it is not cognitive as our minds will make up all sorts of reasons , it is just how it felt and where so you can soothe yourself. You are healing the wound captured within your body.
This is probably the first time i had the strength just to feel it raging through my mind and body : the thoughts began to change into wisdom and clarity , the body felt rested and my creative flow was enhanced the next morning after a few days of storm.
As the Buddhist monk Tilopa said : “Let it be , nothing to fix , nothing to figure out , let alone the past , there is only right now and rest “
Hareshaw Linn
It is time to awaken your senses now , slumber is over and the light beckons you to join vibrancy and flourishing. The forest is a feast of delights , so do not go to sleep , engage your soul in connecting and savouring every morsel. Fall in love with every aspect and let nature guide, nurture and nourish you.
When in abundance harvest some flowers and bring them into your home or gift them to others as this offering will please god and the flowers will thank you as they flourish from your reciprocity. Take a photograph , draw them , meditate beside them , have a chat with them and make poems in their presence. Nature is conscious , it knows you , it cares for you and relishes in supporting you honouring them.
Don’t go to sleep now , see the sprouting fiddleheads , myriad of colourful spring plants and emerging buds to explode into a new world of joy. Be the joy , Be nature , Be spring and let others see you as this as it reminds them not all is bad in the world. Spread love , champion empathy and compassion , protect goodness and show that love creates everything we need.
Be proud of just being human on this remarkable planet and realise that it is nature which is priceless not material gains , status or wealth. Display love like you are a field of wild flowers illuminating a woodland pathing the pay to goodness , to nourishment and being whole. Become nature once more and find harmony and balance in life.
Bakethin Nature Reserve
The leaves dance around the birch tree catching the morning sunlight and even those some are shivering in the still morning coldness they are bold enough to sprout out and colourise the forest once again.
Nature knows that life is about resilience of rest and play. Each plant in each season has a task but it does not beat itself up but allows itself to complete it tasks in its own time ready to make its offerings. It trusts itself and knows that whatever manifests in that year is enough as it isn’t alone , there are no commands or benchmarks to abide to.
Create a world that cares , nourishes and understands that progress should nurture and allow all that resides within it. There is no end goal , just breathing and living in cycles of time. There are no timelines and anxiety to achieve as our true legacy is whom we have loved are cared for.
In the Wild , Painting
When you fall
let the strange cover you
allow the weird embellish you
transform into nothingness
be un-definable
merge into everything
become mutable and intangible.
Top Left : Watercolour on Bockingford 56 ×76 cm Watercolour paper
Top Left : Watercolour on Fabrinno 33 × 50 cm Watercolour Paper
Middle Left : Watercolour on 140 × 210 mm Watercolour Sketch Book
Middle Right : Watercolour on 170 × 250mm Leda Supplies Sketch Book
Bottom : Watercolour on A3 Canson Watercolour Paper
Bull Crag Peninsular
It is so much an honour to be through the changes of this wonderful woodland from the beginning of the year , to see its changes , to be with it as a family and to show its beauty. The anticipation is excitement of returning just to spend a few hours in its company to listen not only to its wisdom but with compassion of a friend. It does not matter whether it displays something which wows social media or not and there is nothing required from it .
Now my friend there is lightness , play , joy and energy of flourishing in abundance. It did not ask , it did not manifest and it did not force. It just became with patience , trust and love. It let everything else be , no drama , no comparison but with harmony and inclusion. You are my guiding spirit master to be me amongst others without the need to shine , be better than or to dismiss what i do not understand.
Now the sun god Lugh appears upon the Gorse , i am going to master myself , be a warrior of compassion and make magic.
