Fearlessness
I am not sure whether I had a bout of delving deep into what I really want and having the courage to end something or totally sabotaging myself once again. I had all intentions for my next stage mindfulness learning to engage with the teacher training which is a great course by lovely people but for myself it is too restrictive to how I wish to be. My intentions were not really guiding mindfulness approved courses created by organisations but to bring people into nature and help them connect which doesn’t need accreditation but passion.
My original intentions was mindfulness in nature , write my diary to help nd inspire and to create some nature assembly art to sell so it may fund my work helping people. I had abandoned my nature assemblies for teaching with an organisation as I was being too hard on myself about my abilities due to I cannot visualise and thinking it just won’t work !
Everything has now distilled down to whatever I do has to come from me rather than attaching myself to others which has been a common flaw in my past that i have been unable to shake off. I have no option but to believe in myself and see what the universe delivers. I love the film “ Paul”. In the movie Paul , the alien says “ sometimes you just have to roll the dice”
Mindfulness is a powerful tool to notice ourselves and when we begin to connect to our body and feelings it deepens the enquiry into knowing what we really want as when we do things misaligned our bodies wisdom is shouting at us to stop just as much as if we put our hand in fire.
The way it manifests for me are strong thoughts on something when I awake and I take particular notice to this or it comes into my dreams.
It takes time and work for us to shake off the old ways , attachments and beliefs which limit us. The lesson here is awareness and presence which meditation teaches in a micro setting. When we notice we are off track just like during meditation we begin to have thoughts we bring ourselves to breath as our intention was to be present which cultivates stillness.
Creating stillness is making space for ourselves to sit and let everything just be and settle creating clarity.
Self compassion is the glove which fits fearlessness in our lives as instead of being hard on ourselves we can have a softer approach so it’s easier fail. Just like Thomas Edison getting to the right bulb he had to try out thousands of variations . Being able to sit with yourself when it’s uncomfortable as you have messed up not only helps you have clearer perspective to see and learn but creates confidence to try once again.
Bakethin Nature Reserve
I have only found one place which has mushrooms popping up here at this moment , I had no idea why I became attracted to the little enclave when I first ventured through this delightful reserve but it has delivered some beautiful nature photographs for me.
I have always called them Fly Agaric and we always had a few next to the large silver birch in my parent house but known as Amanita Muscari. Probably the most famous of toadstools in Europe and one steeped in folklore. It is a shamanic plant associated with Druids and Shamans in Northern Europe and Siberia.
They are considered probably the first known psychoactive plant in Northern Europe and they need special process to remove the toxic elements.
For me they are just magical to find and photograph and I think of them as cathedrals for woodland fairies and other spirits. It is this time when the divide between spirit dimensions and ours lessens.
I love all seasons but I do look forward to autumn as I love how plants and flowers transform themselves. Just look at those colours , the deepness and alluring darkness especially when caught after rain which continues to degrade them but with that degrading comes beauty.
There are those reddy browns of the Ferns which i strive for in my paintings and next month there will be more showing. Slowly the grasses have dried and almost with exception to the areas in open to direst sunlight have gone leaving a few grass heads dangling ready for me to make a picture.
rain and morning dew are the snitches to the spiders plans of taking advantage of a few remaining plants to weave its web catching whatever is remaining in the early autumn.
I watched a documentary on forests which the forest scientists have discovered “Mother Trees” which nurture the forest keeping it healthy and that they even keep tree trumps alive , maybe the old trees have wisdom but its unsure of the trees purpose. The tree trumps which I love to find are still living entities which have meaning and purpose to the forest. The trump needs its cambium layer and nutrients delivered for it to endure and from these many new trees can emerge from it
Finding shapes inspire my drawing and paintings. Drawing the shapes directly creates a movement memory in my body in which is stored and that’s my way of visualising nature to make my paintings. They are beautiful as a photograph too and when you begin to notice different things in nature your perspective changes helping you connect deeper to nature.
Nature is always talking to us in their way and your attentiveness is your listening .
Bull Crag Peninsular
It is time for small nature scenes for my photography. I have a few phrases for them , Stories and Nature Assemblies as I keep far away from the word compositions as it has many negative associations in my past and to me it feels indifferent.
Although at its beginning of Autumn go out and find amazing colours also seek out lovely mottling and blotches of different leaves and note which leaves are more transformed than others. Before I began my journey I did not notice life around me and the change from trees with leaves and without them seem to be over night. Mindfulness is about slowing down so you savour every morsel of change , feeling the leaves change colour and then fall to the ground transforming the tracks to reds and browns.
At this moment , just like the flowers repeating themselves , I am not done with saying “summer is not over yet” and that hopefulness for another warm day before the nights draw in. Bringing hope into your life empowers you and frees you of the endless negativity and horrid situations happening in the world which causes anxiety and grief.
We all create conditions to protect us from our attachments and when triggered by events we feel insecure as our wellbeing is threatened which manifests unhelpful behaviours and upsetting thoughts. Being helpful needs clarity and when we are settled with self compassion as some of those things happening are terrible we can connect to our innate hope.
Being helpful isnt just activism or supporting others, it can be helping ourselves be calm , being able to soothe ourselves, find clarity when we see injustice and not let anger harden our hearts and manipulate our thoughts.
Where there is ruin,
there is hope for treasure
Rumi
The heather along the pathways are still twinkling
Hareshaw Linn
I am blessed to see such abundance of hips and after my recent changes I feel more motivated to go back and harvest some for my nature assemblies. Just sitting now writing this and looking at my photographs has inspired me with ideas and this time it is “JFDI”. ( Just (swear word beginning with “F”) Do It). I am not a natural swearer but it does add a punch to this phrase.
It is becoming Autumn woodland wonderland and it is going to be big boots on and explore deeper into the woodland from the paths as now the lovely flower adorned paths have emptied. It is time to shift my perspective to beyond the comfort of a well made path. The late autumn and winter times in woodlands are discovery as you will find tracks you never knew existed and it’s ok that everything seems to look the same , it is about the shift in energy and feeling the place possesses and its time for a autumnal forest mindfulness bathe.
I apologise to the landscape photographers of this world as I probably should have focus stacked the image etc etc. My photographs come straight from the camera without editing.
Maybe , just thinking allowed there might be a Troll living under this bridge
